End of the Year

Trying to do some reflecting over the past year and as I weed through all the struggles, frustrations, surprises, pain, laughter, and mistakes, I really want to strip it down to...What is God trying to teach me? What was He trying to teach me this year (it was not my best ever) and I really want to 'get it'...whatever He is trying to show me. I think I've figured it out..I could be wrong, that's been known to happen, but as I was listening to this song today it hit me. He is ALL I need....not just part or some but ALL, everything. He completely satisfies.
I have spent many of the last 32 years trying everything you can think of, except God. At times, I tried some things, PLUS God....but never JUST God.. Last night, I was laying in bed feeling strangely content, at peace, satisfied. If you looked at the circumstances surrounding my life right now, from a worldy perspective, there really is no reason for me to feel that way. I should feel stressed, hurried, worried, sad, and lonely. But what I felt was peace. True peace that I know with everything in me can only come from HIM. I felt like God was trying to tell me, This is what I want to give you...just stop looking everywhere else.
So....I've come to the conclusion that this year He has been trying to teach me that He is all I need. And so....my response for 2010 is to, um, well try this out....quit looking to anything and everything BUT Him. My Savior, my true Friend, my Comforter, my Lover, my Hiding Place, my strength when I have none, my hope, my Father who loves me unconditionally. I have listened to this song again and again, and I'm praying that this will be the cry of my heart for 2010.


I left my fear by the side of the road
Hear You speak, it won't let go
Fall to my knees as I lift my head to pray
Got every reason to be here again
Father's heart that draws me in
All my eyes want to see is a glimpse of You

All I need is You......All I need is You, Lord, is YOU, Lord
All I need is You....All I need is You, Lord, is YOU

One more day and it's not the same
Your Spirit causes my heart to sing
Drawn to the voice of my Savior once again
Where'd my soul be without Your Son
Gave His life to save the earth
Rest in the thought that You're watching over me

All I NEED IS YOU......All I NEED IS YOU!!!!!!

You hold the universe....
You hold everyone on earth...


I NEED You
I WANT You
I CHOOSE You

All I Need is You.

CSL!!! You gotta be there!!!!!

CHRISTMAS CROSS STREET LIVE tomorrow night!!
Dinner at 5, Show at 5:30
Rossview High
Check it out....http://www.crossstreetlive.com/

more than conquerors

we are more than conquerors...great sermon that reminded me today that life is not pain free but we can still be victorious because we are His child. He loves us so much no matter what we think the circumstances in our life are telling us! Listen when you get a chance......
http://www.newlifechurch.org/sermons/sermons.jsp?mediaid=1951

He IS enough

Read this blog from Matt Chandler if you haven't already. I bawled...not because I felt sorry for him or his family but because I am envious of what he has. Oh how I want the cry of my heart to be more like this...forgive me Lord for choosing ANYTHING over you. It is never worth it.


http://hv.thevillagechurch.net/blog/hvpastor/

Louie blog

Great blog from one of my favs....Louie Giglio
This one really tugged at my heart, God works through our pain and I just want to be that type of obedient to Him so that I can see Him work and see Him do great things for His glory.

http://268generation.com/blog/2009/11/so-so-grateful/

A tight grip

What is God teaching me right now? Or really a better way to put it is what am I wrestling with Him about, fighting with Him about, and being so stubborn about?...With most things in my life, when God said no, and especially if it was something I already had a grip on, I just gripped even tighter. The painful and at the same time cool thing that God always did was pry it, rip it, out of my hands!! Wow, did it hurt most of the time...ok, who am I kidding, it always hurt. It was painful because it was something I wanted and something I really thought I needed at the time. What is cool about it looking back is that God saved me....saved me from myself, from that bad choice, from even worse consequences that I could have suffered. In His gracious and merciful heart, He chose to rip it out where it would hurt for now, but then I could heal, move on, and experience His will for me and His blessings.
SO....what is really showing up these past couple of weeks are things that God is pointing at and going...Uh, you need to get rid of this now....most of them are things I already have a grip on. So what do I do? Do I learn from past mistakes and just hand it over? Or do I start to tense my fingers and hold on with all that I've got?...
Jesus said many times in the Bible that if we truly love Him we will obey His commands....if we truly love Him, we will give up everything. If we truly love Him we will follow Him and throw out, and get rid of, anything that is not of Him. So maybe the real question should be, Do I truly love Him??
I am thankful for what He is teaching me...I am thankful that He has not given up on me, and I'm praying today that I will open my hands and give to Him freely WHATEVER He asks for. And then, I will wait, and expect great things, because He IS God, and I do truly love Him with all that is in me.
What are you holding on to today????

one sweet moment

I was just serving my daughter dinner...she touched my leg and said, "You are a good mama."
I kissed her and we giggled together. Those are the moments I live for....

http://www.catalystspace.com/content/read/comfortable_substitute_chan

Very interesting blog by Chan...I'm still chewing on it. What are your thoughts???

LISTEN

great sermon I heard today....my boy Matt is speaking some TRUTH!...spend some time and listen to teaching of the Word. Good stuff....thank you God for leaders and teachers who are obedient to speaking your truth.

http://theresurgence.com/matt-chandler-preaching-gospel-de-churched

Pictures I talked about in the last post

LOVE livin life with my community group!!

Wow!! All I can say is Wow!....God is moving and shaking all around me,and I am so humbled that He is letting me see it. I love love our small group and we are studying Crazy Love right now. We had a great time last night talking about God's Word and sharing what God is doing in our hearts.....if you aren't in a community group, I don't care what church you go to, you need to GET in one!! I have experienced more true fellowship, true friendship, and true sharing from the heart, not to mention some amazing times of laughter and craziness, than I have in my last 31 years of life.

I just want to praise Him today for allowing me to be a part of a community group, and also to be able to watch lives being changed, people growing, and people gettting EXCITED about God!! That is what it's all about isn't it?? Love God, love people, and be passionate about God...get excited people. There is nothing better...I promise!! I've been on both sides, all sides, upside down and turned around....I've been everywhere....there is NOTHING better than the one true living GOD.

Here are some of my fav pics from our small group's times together.....take a look and think about getting into a group of community....you'll be surprised what you get.

daddy's love...and everything else that's been goin on

It's been kind of a crazy past few weeks. About a month ago I got pnemonia, and it really knocked me down. Kylie's allergies have been really bad and we've been to the doctor more times than I can count. Then just as I was getting better I got the flu and Kylie got really sick again so we spent last week at home, laying around, taking tons of meds, watching Barbie movies, and me trying to get work done in between all of it. Just as I thought I was getting better, I woke up feeing funky and once again my doctor handed me a another prescription and said I had broncitis. Good grief, I've never been this sick so much in my life. Between trying to keep life going while feeling crappy, and take care of KJ, I've been spending time with God and asking....what is the purpose for this? IS there a purpose for all this? What are you trying to teach me right now Lord? I'm so frustrated...
I still don't feel like I have an answer (there may not be one) but I feel like I've been reintroduced to some characteristic traits of God. He's truly been my Daddy, my Caregiver, and my Comforter these past few weeks. He's been there when I felt all alone, provided when I felt like I had nothing, and He's just wrapped His arms around me and told me that it's going to get better and He's not going anywhere. I'm praying that my relationship with Him will just continue to grow, that my love for Him will grow...explode actually, and that I will fall more madly in love with the God of the universe who is ALSO my daddy. What an amazing thought...I'm still processing it all.
KJ and I were listening to one of her favorite cds that is by Andrew Peterson and listening to a few of the songs just really made me think of how God thinks of us. I've posted the words here as an encouragement to you. Think of it as Him being your loving parent today and supplying you with whatever it is you need just to make it through this season, or maybe just today.



I love you today and I love you tomorrow
I love you as deep as the sea
I love you in joy and I love you in sorrow
You can always come home to me

There once was a man that found him a treasure buried out under a tree
Sold all he had just to own it forever
The treasure is you, you see

There once were some sheep, safe on the farm
One little lamb got loose
The shepherd went out and carried it home
That little lamb is you

I love you today and I love you tomorrow
I love you as deep as the sea
I love you in joy and I love you in sorrow
You can always come home to me
You can ALWAYS come home to me.




I've got you swaddled, and I've got your bottle
And you're too loud to ignore
Your mama is sleeping, The angels are keeping....so cry no more.

Hey beautiful girl...Daddy loves you, He loves you
Most beautiful girl, in the whole wide world

Stars are all shining, the birds are reclining,
The squirrels are all nestled down.
The trees in the forest are joining in the chorus
And swaying to the sound.

I know that moons rise, and time flies
And sweet little girls get older
And then when your tooth aches or your heart aches
Will you still cry on my shoulder?

Hey beautiful girl, Daddy loves you, He loves you
Most beautiful girl, in the whole wide world.




There is a room within this house where we'll be resting
Just take a right when you get down from where you sleep
Be sure to step around the scattering of play things
Don't wake your brother with the patter of your feet.

Through the door beside your Mama's mother's paintings
Step lightly on the carpet in the hall.
Look for the shelf with all the books of Papa's reading
And the old guitar that's up against the wall.

You shouldn't feel the need to take such drastic measures
With the God of all creation looking on.
He will keep you on this night, yes, and forever-
He will keep you as He keeps us.....down the hall.

So settle in,my child, and sleep.
The moon is high and the sun is down,
And the night is deep.
Close your eyes and dream of angels' wings
And go down and down to sleep.

He is AMAZING!!

Don't have time for a long blog right now but good grief, God is just blessing me like crazy! I've had a hard week personally and physically....and God knows. He knows and He CARES....He's my best friend, my lover, my Hiding Place, my strength. The last two days He has put several situations in my life that have just brought me joy, laughter, encouragement, and peace. He knew what I needed. You know how we say He alone can satisfy and He is all we need...I say that and truly want to believe it. But sometimes it's hard to really believe...but I'm one step closer today to believing that with all my heart. Trust Him today with everything you've got! Your hurt, your frustration, your anger, your business, your loneliness....give it away and expect something great. I am truly amazed....He is the God of the Universe and He is also my best friend. How crazy and wonderful is that.....

remembering....

Today I am remembering my wonderful mother...I can't believe it's been two years. When I went out to the gravesite and saw her and my grandmother's grave, I was overwhelmed with emotion, as always. After awhile, I began to think about how grateful I was that she was a believer and that she lived her life to serve others. I miss her terribly but I am coming more and more to the realization that I wouldn't want her to be anywhere else. She struggled mentally and physically so much every day even though she didn't show it. She is so FREE now and what more could you want for someone you love deeply???....
It was also a really cool day, despite feeling like crap from pnemonia, because there were several amazing things that happened that only could be from God. It reminded me that my mother's legacy is always with me and I hope I can do the same for my daughter....and I continue to remind myself.....'our citizenship is in Heaven'.....

How God Works..

I was really having a pity party this morning for myself....some things happened last night that really had me struggling emotionally and mentally, and I just shut down after KJ went to bed and went to bed myself. I woke up not feeling much better but finding myself forced to get up, get KJ ready for pajama day at school, get ready for work, and over to babysit for a friend before work. After I dropped KJ off, I was fighting back tears and the urge to drive back home and get back in the bed, and throw my cell phone and laptop under the bed.....but I decided to try a different tactic and instead of feeding the flesh and continuing to feel sorry for myself, to starve the flesh and feed the Spirit. So I had a one-on-one with God asking Him to just be everything for me today, to satisfy the huge hole in my heart, and to be my Comforter, Best Friend, and Lover. I love the song You're All I Need but this was the moment where I needed to believe it.
My Bible study last night was about having the courage to see His promises fulfilled, and I prayed that He would give me patience and hope to wait, and to keep growing, changing, and serving during that in between time. So anyway, I had some real and honest time with God, telling Him I felt pitiful, I am pitiful, blah, blah, and I just needed Him to turn my thoughts and heart around. Within fifteen minutes, something happened that I really needed to make my day easier, and my thoughts just began turning to His blessings and how He wants to use me today, to not waste THIS day.....just by coming before Him even when I didn't feel like it, He turned my thoughts from me, to Him and His glory. I've heard someone say before, You can't be pitiful and powerful. To me, that means if I'm focused on me, then I can't allow the Holy Spirit to work His power in my life.
I encourage you today that if you are stressed, frustrated, depressed, or angry, turn to God, even if you don't feel like it. Don't trust your feelings. Trust Him. Don't just believe in Him, but believe HIM. He will do what He says He will do. He will fulfill His promises in your life. Have courage to watch and see Him come through for you because He will, in the little things and the huge things.

"Who is like you, a people saved by the Lord? He is the shield that protects you, the sword you boast in. Your enemies will cringe before you, and you will tread on their backs." Deut. 33:29

"O Sovereign Lord, you are God! Your words are trustworthy, and you have promised good things to your servant. Now be pleased to bless the house of your servant, that it may continue forever in your sight; for you, O Sovereign Lord, have spoken, and with your blessing the house of your servant will be blessed forever." 2 Samuel 7: 28-29

Fav pics from Chatt so far...

This is what I want too!!

Was reading this book on Single parenting and I read this quote from a single mom: "I face not the sorrows of a fallen world, but the saving grace of the Refiner's fire. That causes me to kneel in desperation at the Lord's feet, but not pleading for a house with a picket fence, a husband, and 2.5 kids. No, I desperately pleade for the riches of His kingdom-love, joy, peace,patience, kindess, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness, and self-control! For some people these gifts may come with ease, but I insist on the wretchedness of my soul that needs to be transformed at any cost. And I trust that God is not blind or uncompassionate, but very much in control. The Bible promises us trials, and these trials are there to test our faith, make us stronger, and sharpen our character. Why then should we resist God's goodness?"
WOW....she totally put into words exactly what I've been thinking through lately and what is the DESIRE of my heart....I want HIM!...and I don't want small change, or a 'tweak', I want to be transformed. He is SO worth it. As I've been here on this trip away from the normal routine of life, I am just being reminded more and more of His blessings in my life and His hand upon my life. I am forever grateful and undserving but beyond that I want to love Him and I want to want Him just because.......because HE IS GOD.

Just a cowgirl....

When my sister and I were kids, we got asked a lot by other kids 'what are you?'...translation: what race are you? People would ask us if we were Mexican, African-American, Hawaiian, all that stuff. (BTW, our mom was full Cuban) But it took me by surprise when KJ and I were at the park the other day and I overheard the girl she was playing with ask, Are you Indian? KJ quickly responded without thinking, Nope...I'm just a cowgirl. Haha, that's my girl. She keeps me laughing on days when I feel like crying!:)

adventure!

Loved this post!....there are SO many things I want to do but don't feel I have the time, energy,money, experience, etc....I'd love to:

-sky dive
-do missions in other countries with my daughter
-adopt a child from Africa
-work with people that are helping children in the slave industry
-get my masters in counseling
-get out of debt so I can give, give, and then give some more!
-learn to sew
....and so much more! Whatever God has in store, I want to be ready for it, not be afraid to embark on it, and trust Him that He is going to take care of the time, money, experience, etc. part of it all...I think I'm ready.

http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/2009/09/people-will-never-respect-you-because-of-what-youre-about-to-do/

See His Love

"This is Jesus, in His GLORY.....King of Heaven. Dying for ME!
It is finished! He has done it. Death is beaten, Heaven beckons me!!!.....Such a love..such a love is this for ME!"

Been listenin to this song on the way to work lately...seems like a simple worship song but God really pierced my heart about listening to the words and soaking them in. The KING of Heaven, the God of everything, loves me, and suffered for me. If I can grasp that every day, the choices I make, my attitude, my thoughts...it would all be different. I desire to never get over the cross and what Jesus did for me and I want to spend my life serving Him, every minute of every day. I want to share some of that love...that love that He has for me.

we can ALL do something

I don't normally post twice in one day but I read this one earlier and it just really spoke to me. This is my heart, my passion, my dream...to one day be a voice to children here and around the world that are in need: in need of water, food, love, healthcare, whatever it is...I believe that one day God will use me to advocate for those that have no voice. So I read this post and was really touched.
http://www.flowerdust.net/2009/09/14/my-toxic-bottle-of-water/

http://www.ronedmondson.com/2009/09/finishing-wellleaving-a-leagacy-a-tribute-to-my-dad.html

Love this post by Ron....it really encouraged me as a parent as I think about all the mistakes I made in the past and as a parent. God is continually working in my life and I am excited about where He is taking me and how He is changing my heart. It gives me hope for me and Kylie to be a Godly family and to serve God and others like I've always wanted to.....He is so good to me!!....and thanks Ron for that post!!

What God is Teaching Me...

-TRUST Him completely....not half-heartedly or it might as well be like not trusting Him at all. Fully believe and you will know you've done that when you feel a peace. Peace in your children, family, finances, work, sickness, disappointments, and hurts...you will feel a peace, that one that it talks about in the Bible- it surpasses all understanding. That means we don't understand it, we don't know why we have it, it's just there. But I'll tell ya, it comes because you TRUST.

-God loves you.....seems simple but I don't think we truly truly grasp that. HE LOVES US. and you specifically. If you really let that sink in, your insecurities fall away, your anxiety is lessened, and you feel comfort and security knowing the God of the universe loves YOU. I was listening to a song about that the other day and I began bawling because I really started to believe it. No one can love me like Him, and if I find my comfort in His love, wow, I don't need anything or anyone but Him.

-This world is not a playground its a battlefield. I'm NOT saying we can't have fun and that God doesn't provide us with joy and times to just laugh and enjoy life. But we must treat it like a battlefield. The enemy is SO present and he is counting on us to downplay his presence so that we continue to sin, continue to let our joy be stolen from us, and we continue to be miserable when that is not God's plan for us. I'm learning to FIGHT every day....and it's so great! I feel free and I feel better than I have in years! The coolest thing is that I don't have to worry about whether I am going to win or not....that is already been taken care of. The victory is won and I just have to walk in it step by step, day by day....sometimes it's minute by minute. But that's ok, because at the end of the day what a feeling to say It was a victorious day! Thank you God!! I am so undeserving and yet YOU led me on and cheered me along the whole way!

So much more that He's teaching me...that'll be for my next blog though:)

Trin

Just Another Day...kinda

Well Kylie's allegies have been out of control the past couple days and I hate her being sick but I confess I love the extra time with her:)...Her independent self is more likely to snuggle up beside me to watch a movie, or sit in my lap and play games or read books with me. It's such a cool time that I know won't last forever....she's such a sweetheart, even when she's sick. I'm so blessed! Today God is teaching me to live in the moment...although I have dreams, aspirations, goals, and a huge to do list, none of that mattered today because I found joy in Color Wonder, Dora playdoh, several VeggieTale movies, and tickle wars in the bed. God is SO good to me, each and EVERY day!!!!

Events Coming Up...Let's Serve!!

Well I wanted to do a post on what God is teaching me during this new season in my life, but there is SO much so I'll have to save that for another day when I have more time....
So get this, I'm getting involved in two GREAT causes in October and am so pumped!! I want to share them with you and if you are interested in coming on board, please contact me, I would LOVE it:)....so here's the info:

***Hope Pregnancy Center Banquet- I am hosting a table on October 8, it's a dessert banquet form 7-9 PM. You can bring someone with you, come alone, it doesn't matter! It's free and the Hope Pregnancy Center is such a great ministry in Clarksville...for more info about the ministry, you can go to http://www.friendsofclarksvillehope.com/


***Making Strides-Breast Cancer Walk- I am heading up a team to walk on October 24, starting at the Titans stadium. We will walk all throughout downtown. This will be my third year to participate in this event, and it's so amazing to be a part of! If you want more info, you can contact me or go to the website http://www.cancer.org/docroot/par/PAR_2_Making_Strides_Against_Breast_Cancer.asp. If you want to sign up, you can sign up under Team Watts. Our team goal is to raise $2000. But whether you raise any money or not, you can still be a part of the team and walk with us! We are wanting to raise money but also awareness of this cause and organization!!

I look forward to serving with many of you through these events....what areas in your life is God calling you to serve? Any thoughts and ideas on things you can do in Clarksville to serve those around you??

I've spent a lot of time thinking about the New Orleans trip and how amazed I was watching the teenagers serve....they served God, they served others, expecting nothing in return. No glory, no praise, no rewards. They smiled, they laughed, they made the best of what they had, they did without being asked, they loved the unlovable, and the perservered when situations were frustrating. Thank you God for teenagers that love YOU and WANT to serve you...it blows my mind. Please pray for these and others that have this heart to love and serve. Pray that they will stand strong in the years to come, that they won't be tainted by the world, and that their desire to know Him, love Him, and serve Him will grow stronger. Here are some of my fav pics from the trip.....