Thursday, October 22, 2009


Don't have time for a long blog right now but good grief, God is just blessing me like crazy! I've had a hard week personally and physically....and God knows. He knows and He CARES....He's my best friend, my lover, my Hiding Place, my strength. The last two days He has put several situations in my life that have just brought me joy, laughter, encouragement, and peace. He knew what I needed. You know how we say He alone can satisfy and He is all we need...I say that and truly want to believe it. But sometimes it's hard to really believe...but I'm one step closer today to believing that with all my heart. Trust Him today with everything you've got! Your hurt, your frustration, your anger, your business, your loneliness....give it away and expect something great. I am truly amazed....He is the God of the Universe and He is also my best friend. How crazy and wonderful is that.....

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


Today I am remembering my wonderful mother...I can't believe it's been two years. When I went out to the gravesite and saw her and my grandmother's grave, I was overwhelmed with emotion, as always. After awhile, I began to think about how grateful I was that she was a believer and that she lived her life to serve others. I miss her terribly but I am coming more and more to the realization that I wouldn't want her to be anywhere else. She struggled mentally and physically so much every day even though she didn't show it. She is so FREE now and what more could you want for someone you love deeply???....
It was also a really cool day, despite feeling like crap from pnemonia, because there were several amazing things that happened that only could be from God. It reminded me that my mother's legacy is always with me and I hope I can do the same for my daughter....and I continue to remind myself.....'our citizenship is in Heaven'.....

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

How God Works..

I was really having a pity party this morning for myself....some things happened last night that really had me struggling emotionally and mentally, and I just shut down after KJ went to bed and went to bed myself. I woke up not feeling much better but finding myself forced to get up, get KJ ready for pajama day at school, get ready for work, and over to babysit for a friend before work. After I dropped KJ off, I was fighting back tears and the urge to drive back home and get back in the bed, and throw my cell phone and laptop under the bed.....but I decided to try a different tactic and instead of feeding the flesh and continuing to feel sorry for myself, to starve the flesh and feed the Spirit. So I had a one-on-one with God asking Him to just be everything for me today, to satisfy the huge hole in my heart, and to be my Comforter, Best Friend, and Lover. I love the song You're All I Need but this was the moment where I needed to believe it.
My Bible study last night was about having the courage to see His promises fulfilled, and I prayed that He would give me patience and hope to wait, and to keep growing, changing, and serving during that in between time. So anyway, I had some real and honest time with God, telling Him I felt pitiful, I am pitiful, blah, blah, and I just needed Him to turn my thoughts and heart around. Within fifteen minutes, something happened that I really needed to make my day easier, and my thoughts just began turning to His blessings and how He wants to use me today, to not waste THIS day.....just by coming before Him even when I didn't feel like it, He turned my thoughts from me, to Him and His glory. I've heard someone say before, You can't be pitiful and powerful. To me, that means if I'm focused on me, then I can't allow the Holy Spirit to work His power in my life.
I encourage you today that if you are stressed, frustrated, depressed, or angry, turn to God, even if you don't feel like it. Don't trust your feelings. Trust Him. Don't just believe in Him, but believe HIM. He will do what He says He will do. He will fulfill His promises in your life. Have courage to watch and see Him come through for you because He will, in the little things and the huge things.

"Who is like you, a people saved by the Lord? He is the shield that protects you, the sword you boast in. Your enemies will cringe before you, and you will tread on their backs." Deut. 33:29

"O Sovereign Lord, you are God! Your words are trustworthy, and you have promised good things to your servant. Now be pleased to bless the house of your servant, that it may continue forever in your sight; for you, O Sovereign Lord, have spoken, and with your blessing the house of your servant will be blessed forever." 2 Samuel 7: 28-29

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Fav pics from Chatt so far...

This is what I want too!!

Was reading this book on Single parenting and I read this quote from a single mom: "I face not the sorrows of a fallen world, but the saving grace of the Refiner's fire. That causes me to kneel in desperation at the Lord's feet, but not pleading for a house with a picket fence, a husband, and 2.5 kids. No, I desperately pleade for the riches of His kingdom-love, joy, peace,patience, kindess, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness, and self-control! For some people these gifts may come with ease, but I insist on the wretchedness of my soul that needs to be transformed at any cost. And I trust that God is not blind or uncompassionate, but very much in control. The Bible promises us trials, and these trials are there to test our faith, make us stronger, and sharpen our character. Why then should we resist God's goodness?"
WOW....she totally put into words exactly what I've been thinking through lately and what is the DESIRE of my heart....I want HIM!...and I don't want small change, or a 'tweak', I want to be transformed. He is SO worth it. As I've been here on this trip away from the normal routine of life, I am just being reminded more and more of His blessings in my life and His hand upon my life. I am forever grateful and undserving but beyond that I want to love Him and I want to want Him just because.......because HE IS GOD.