TODAY

Two years ago my sweet Nana left us....I'm sitting in the waiting room at Baptist while my dad has yet another hip surgery and I'm looking across the room at the exact chair that my Nana sat in while he was in his last surgery over 2 years ago. She had just lost her only daugther, my mother, 3 months earlier, and she wasn't in the greatest health herself and yet she drove to Nashville and sat through her son-in-law's surgery, just to be here for him. She made us laugh the whole time with her crazy sayings and saying whatever she was thinking (no filter!) That's how she was.....so kind and loving, fun, sweet, and a tad on the crazy side (that was the Cuban in her!) I miss her terribly....and some days I feel bad for feeling bad but I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that even though she's been gone two years and my mother has been gone three, it's still ok to grieve. My sister is reading a book and she quoted me something from it that really pierced me.....

"If you've been marked by what might have been, you don't forget. You know the day, the years. You know when the baby would have been born. You know exactly what anniversary you'd be celebrating, if the wedding had happened. You know exactly how old she'd be right now, if she were still alive. You'll never forget the last time you saw your child, or the last time cancer was a word about someone else's life, or the day that changed absolutely everything. It makes the calendar feel like a minefield, like you're constantly tiptoeing over explosions of grief until one day you hit one, shattered by waht might have been. On most days, for me, it's al right. We'll have another baby someday. I hope we do. But for today, for a minute, it's not alright. I understand that God is sovereign, that bodies are fragile and fallible. I understand that grief mellows over time, and that guarantees aren't part of human life, as much as we'd like them to be. But on this day, looking out at the harsh white sky of a Chicago winter, I'm crying just a little for what might have been......Life will keep moving, exactly as it should. No one might ever notice January 31, and what it means for me. But I'll always know.
I don't know what date it is for you- what broke apart on that day, what was lost, what memories are pinned forever to that day on that calendar. But I hope that.....hold yourself open and tender to the memories for just a moment. As one who grieves today, I grieve with you, for whatever you've lost, too, for what might have been." Shauna Niequist, from the book Bittersweet

A good reminder that is ok to grieve and realize that this world will not last.....our citizenship is somewhere else. I loved the sermon from my pastor, Chad, yesterday, where he talked about what the reality of the world is.....and the glimpse of hope that God gives us every once in awhile because she loves us....check out the sermon if you can!!! (gcomchurch.com)

Grace Driven Effort

Grave-Drive Effort June 6 sermon

http://denton.thevillagechurch.net/sermons

Love me some Matt Chandler....check out this sermon!!

random

http://www.break.com/break-best-videos/toyota-sienna---swagger-wagon.html

CSL!!!!!!!

Cross Street Live starts up again tomorrow.....It's an amazing hour of worship, fun, and, crazy characters, and videos all for kids and parents to enjoy together!!! It's not just a GCC thing.....anyone from the community is invited!! Lunch is at 12:45 PM at Rossview High ($2 donation) and the show starts at 1:30 sharp!!! For more info, check out gcomchurch.com. This is a great way for you to spend time with your child having fun and also learning something valuable, that will stick with them!! Don't miss it!!!

gcomchurch.com
gcomkids.com

months of old

From Morning and Evening (Charles H. Spurgeon) on August 11th:

“Oh, that I were as in the months of old.” Job 29:2


Many Christians are able to view the past with pleasure but regard the present with dissatisfaction. They look back upon the days that they have spent in communing with the Lord as being the sweetest and the best they have ever known; but as to the present, it is as if they were smothered by a heavy blanket of gloom and dreariness. Once they lived near Jesus, but now they feel that they have wandered from Him, and they say, “Oh, that I were as in the months of old.” They complain that they have lost their evidences, or that they no longer have peace of mind, or that they have no enjoyment in the means of grace, or that their conscience is hardened, or that they are no longer as zealous for God's glory as they once were. The causes of this mournful state of things are many. It may arise through a comparative neglect of prayer, for neglected closet is the beginning of all spiritual decline. Or it may be the result of idolatry. The heart has been occupied with something else, more than with God; the affections have been set on things of earth instead of the things of heaven. A jealous God will not be content with a divided heart; He must be loved first and best. He will withdraw the sunshine of His presence from a cold, wandering heart. Or the cause may be found in self-confidence and self-righteousness. Pride is busy in the heart, and self is exalted instead of lying low a the foot of the cross. Christian, if you are not now as you “were...in the months of old,” do not be content to simply wish for a return of your former happiness, but go at once to seek your Master and tell Him your sad state. Ask His grace and strength to enable you to walk more closely with Him; humble yourself before Him, and He will lift you up and allow you once more to enjoy the light of His countenance. Do not sit down to sigh and lament; while the beloved Physician lives there is hope; there is a certainty of recovery even for the worst cases.

Making Strides!!!!!!!

Hey it's that time of year again....I have a team for the Making Strides walk for Breast Cancer. So simple...you just have to join my team, and walk. On the site, there are ways to help you get donations but no matter if you get $5 or $200, you can still walk and raise awareness for this cause! It's so much fun too!! Here's the website and you can go to my page to sign up....it's under Team Watts (creative I know) Thanks!!!!!!!

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?pg=entry&fr_id=28123

you never realize.....

Sunday I had two cool situations happen that reminded me of the importance of what one choice, one word, one serving heart can do and what a difference it makes. The first one was just me rushing in to hear the service and a man stopped me, who I know just from GCC and his grandchildren come to Grace Acres. He just out of the blue said to me, I bet no one ever tells you thank you for all your hard work. It doesn't go unnoticed and it's appreciated. Thank you.
What a simple statement but good grief it made my whole day!! I'm passionate about preschoolers learning about who God is and how to live a Godly live at an early age, and not for anything of me, but I do work hard and long to help make it happen. It's all of the Lord, nothing good in me! But to hear that just affirmed in me that God's ministry is affecting people, and not going unnoticed. I needed to hear that, and I know he didnt know what that meant to me.
Other thing is a volunteer that took over during a service hour so I could go to service. He kept saying I really didn't do anything but he did. It gave me an hour to break away from my to do list and all that was spinning in my mind and just worship and let God work in my heart. It was HUGE for me....yet again these people don't think they did anything special but for me it was a big deal.
Just reminds me that I have to be in the Spirit daily and listening to what He is asking me to do,and never belittle or think it's dumb or insignificant to encourage someone, serve someone, send an email, note, text....we may never see the effects but God knows and that person knows....we don't have to. That's the importance of letting the Spirit guide us even in the daily walk of life.